Four-year-old Buff Orpington Hen, living in the hen house at the end of the cul-de-sac, is seeking a sugar daddy for pecking, grazing and family building. Must live within crowing distance.
My self-Summary: Hi y’all! My given name is Duke on account of my owners believed I was a rooster, but then I started layin’ the most delicious golden brown eggs. Now all the girls in the hen house call me Daisy Duke, because I remind them of their favorite blonde chick on TV. I am sweet, personable and chatty. I love to be held and cuddled and reminded of what a beauty I am.
My Details: I’m a Buff Orpington, and no, I don’t bleach my feathers—I’m a natural blonde. Although I consider myself a true Dixie Darlin’, my heritage hails from the town of Orpington, Kent in south-east England. I have shiny golden plumage, which extends down below my bodacious thighs. Most people consider my shapely comb and lipstick red waddles my best feature.
What I’m Doing with my Life: After spending the last year doing voice overs for Foster Farms chicken ads, I am looking to break into Hollywood. I plan to contact my namesake from The Dukes of Hazard to see if that sweet little gal will hook me up with her agent. In the meantime, I’m eager to find my true love on Scratch.com.
The First Things People Usually Notice about Me: I think it’s my incredible likeness to Christie Brinkley. My deep sultry voice, voluptuous figure, and gorgeous feathers cause people to stop me in the back yard all the time.
Quote: “Don’t speak unless you’ve got something to crow about.”
Book: My coop mates are twittering about a new book called, THE CHICKEN WHO SAVED US. If I have an agent by then, I plan to offer my vocal talents to record it for Audible.com.
Movie: The Muppets. Gonzo’s girlfriend Camilla, is chick-a-licious! Although I could have done it better myself, I admire her talent and tenacity as she belted out Cee-Lo Green’s “F*ck You” in an elaborately choreographed musical number using nothing but clucks.
Food: I’m passionate about southern deep fry, cracked corn, and pork rinds.
My Perfect First Date: would be a night of Karaoke followed by sharing a nest under the stars.
Kristin Jarvis Adams is a public speaker and advocate for children with special needs, helping to bridge the gap between the outside world and the inner world of autism. Her speaking engagements have included: Seattle Festival of Trees Gala, a benefit for Seattle Children’s Hospital and The Seattle Children’s Autism Clinic. Learn More>>