Post by Kristin Jarvis Adams | November 22, 2020
A friend recently gave me a copy of a newspaper article titled, The Girls, by Ann Hood. Hood reminisced about her mother’s loyal group of women friends that for decades, had gathered in one another’s home every Friday night to eat dinner, gossip, and play cards. These women were prickly and rough around the edges. They bickered, and they made up. They married, got divorces, and remarried. Their kids grew up and had their own kids. Some of the Girls got sick, and others moved away. But throughout their entire lives they remained loyal, honest, dependable, trustworthy, and tough-talking. They were friends that were impossible to replace.
Hood’s story reminded me of my grandmother, Grace, who met with her Girls every Wednesday afternoon for three-olive martinis. My sister and I played under the dining room table while the Girls played poker, and my grandmother’s friend, Charlotte, secretly handed us gin-soaked olives that were stabbed onto colorful toothpicks. The Girls drank and shared news about their families and their husbands who were fishing for halibut in the Bering Sea. They lived and loved one another through world wars, a feminist revolution, and a movie-star president. They laughed, argued about politics, raised their children together, and lost brothers and husbands. And throughout it all they remained loyal and irreplaceable.
My own mother’s Girls are much the same, and now, two generations after my grandmother sat at Charlotte’s dining room table drinking martinis, I sit at my kitchen table drinking coffee and writing with my own group of Girls. They are my truth-tellers and prayer warriors. They’re not afraid to tell me when I’m a hot mess, and they make me laugh when I am laying in the gutter of life with my middle finger in the air. And when life throws the inevitable curve-ball, they show up on my doorstep in the middle of the night with a bottle of wine and a five-pound bag of gummy bears.
Who are your Girls?
During this Thanksgiving week, when we are asked to distance ourselves from our family and friends in order to keep us all safe, I hope you are thinking about your Girls. Offer gratitude and love to those special women who are walking with you through all the messy and beautiful things in this life. We need each other now, more than ever.
Sending you gratitude and peace.
Photo by Katarzyna Grabowska on Unsplash
Kristin Jarvis Adams' story of Andrew and Frightful is a beautiful and remarkable journey through medical mysteries, a reliance on a superhero chicken, and ultimately, a transcendent faith that ushers in hope when all else seems lost.
Beautiful story Kristin. I never had that in my life, and still don’t at near 70 years old. I am pretty sure my mother didn’t either. I do believe it would have been nice and perhaps helped me through some things I navigated by myself.
Thank you for your comments, Suezy! I received other comments like yours, so it made me take a moment to reflect. I should have clarified that my Girls have been hard won over many years, and through various seasons in my life. They are not without flaws, and neither am I. Some Girls have come for a time, then moved on, and only a very few have stayed the course. It is a rarity to have a friend who will walk through a firestorm with you and come out the other side. I am aware of that, and I am forever grateful. My dearest friend moved four states away ten years ago when my life was in shambles, and my heart nearly broke. Now we share our virtual coffee or glass of wine by phone and occasional visits. That is my version of playing poker around a kitchen table and chatting about the daily news of life. Wishing you well, my friend. With much affection, Kristin
What wonderful memories! So nice when friends can stay close. Your mother-in-law is one of my best friends since High School. I am so lucky to call Connie my friend.
Our Mom girls are so so special! Sending you love and wishing all of you a happy Thanksgiving, Hugs, Michelle
Lovely sentiments! I feel honored to one of your mom’s girlfriends and to know her two daughters. Your post evoked many happy memories. Thank you.
I hope I am one of your flock! You are definitely one of mine. Couldn’t have made it through all of the ups and downs without you. Much love!
My Girls…I have two-both very special and both included in my memoir. Jane and I have known each other our entire lives – over 80 years. Michelle and I met in 1989 and regard each other as sisters. Both Jane and Michelle live in New England and here I am in Bellingham WA. But technology keeps us together. The older I become, the more I value these friendships.